MY #1 LIMITING BELIEF
This is the house that I spent most of my high school days after class or practice let out. It’s the house that I spent all summer hanging with friends, calling girls, playing sports, and watching music videos. It’s the house where I told my parents I was staying, only to sneak out with girls and hit the town all night with my buddies. It’s the house where some of my fondest memories were built.
Most recently, I came to realize that one of the most influential moments of my life happened at this house. One single instance created a 20-year long chain of events that could have crushed me at any moment. It’s the birth of MY #1 LIMITING BELIEF, and I’d like to share it with all of you, my friends.
Flash forward to March 14th of this year. A dear friend, and someone I look up to greatly asked me if I’d like to go to see Tony Robbins at his Unleash the Power Within event. I’m usually up for anything, but I was not sure I’d be into a bunch of “rah rah”, “kool-aid drinking” nonsense (that’s literally what I thought). However, if Jason was going to go, then so was I; so I booked a ticket to LA to join him.
Little did I know, this experience would be the one that would define me from the inside out. My time at this event introduced me to a part of myself I’ve always known, but never truly acknowledged (and certainly never spent the right kind of time on).
Let’s go back to that house; playing basketball in the driveway, freshman year in high school. I was the one who got the most on the court, even if it were on a sloped driveway in my new school clothes (sorry Mom). After diving onto the blacktop to get a loose ball, one of my friends coined the nickname“Bobby Try Hard,” as if it were completely unacceptable that I would give so much effort. All of my other friends laughed hysterically, and I still get called that from time to time when I run into people from high school.
From that day in 1999 until the third day at Tony Robbins this year (2019), I wrestled with my #1 limiting belief in life:“Don’t try too hard, Bobby. It’s not cool. Don’t you want to be accepted?” When I came to this realization, it hit me square in the gut. I reflected on times that I took my foot off the gas in life because I was pulling ahead of the pack. I even wondered what life would be like if I tried as hard as I knew I could.
I am what they call a “people pleaser,” and that clearly didn’t help my limiting belief. In fact, it was most likely the gasoline thrown on the fire. I don’t blame my friends for thinking I was crazy for the excessiveness. The way I see things now, I’m damn proud to be known as someone who gives tremendous effort.
Through my Tony Robbins experience, I was able to not only crush this limiting belief to pieces, I have created a monster within me. I have changed the way I show up in my relationship with my faith, my wife, my family, my sons, and in business. Most importantly, I have changed the way I show up for MYSELF.
My greatest takeaway from this lesson (and one that’s never too late to learn) is that you run your own race, and no one else’s. Only you know your true capabilities, and you’re free to push yourself as hard as you want to reach them. When someone tells you to slow down, or to take a break, or that you’re working too hard…therein lies one’s expectations of themselves as they try to make themselves feel normal by bringing you down to their level. There’s only one problem…you’re already long gone...
Your race, your pace.
Bobby Try Hard